Horizon 2014

Last year Horizon, I went as a counselor.  This year, I went as a volunteer.  I wasn't doing very well spiritually, and my church was (still is) going through a very difficult time.  I really wanted to go again, but I didn't feel it would be appropriate to be a counselor for a group of kids that would look up to me.  So this time I went as a volunteer.  Basically I went there for myself.  Last year I barely got any sleep.  For someone who can't function without at least 8 hours of sleep every night, I was getting 5.  I ended up bleeding from my ears at the end of the retreat, and I crashed for days on end.  This time, going as a volunteer, our schedules are pretty relaxed.  I was able to get enough sleep.  There was also the added perk of being in the cabins with actual windows.  That's right, the counselors and the students had to sleep with flaps covering their windows instead of glass.  But it wasn't enough.  I thought going as a volunteer would mean I would be more blessed.  How very selfish of me.  I was only thinking for myself.  I wanted to use those days for myself, and not have to give all of my attention to the kids.  But for some reason (and it should be) it wasn't working for me.  But afterwards I started paying more attention to the people around me, including other volunteers and the kids at the retreat.  I started praying for them instead of myself.  God really does want us to care about other people ahead of ourselves.  The blessings I received from the retreat were actually blessings sent by God through other people.  It was a wonderful feeling.

So next year, no more Horizon for me.  Horizon is a retreat designed for the youth kids.  My sister will go, but I won't (unless things change within the next year).  I stopped being a youth teacher, and I've lost quite a bit of heart for them.  If I ever do go again, though, it will definitely be as a counselor.  For now, I will be focusing on my church, and the young adult ministry.

Oh, and somehow I've unintentionally picked up all of the responsibilities for the children's classes for our church.  How did that happen...