Dedication

Once you're a Christian doesn't mean that you're always going to be doing the right thing and being good all the time.  I've been a Christian for a very long time.  I'm a church-baby, meaning I grew up and was raised in a church.  I didn't really start believing until high school.  And of course, like many Christians do, I've had my falling outs with Jesus.  Some people don't have a lot of falling outs and their spiritual life looks like a spiral upwards.  Mine is more like a roller coaster.  Through a friend of mine, a very strong Christian, I've been able to rededicate my life to Jesus (again) quite recently.  It's been almost two weeks.  What I mean by rededicating though, is that I am trying to no longer be the lukewarm Christian, who says that she believes in Jesus, but when you meet her, you can't tell the difference between her and any other person.  I want to be one of those people that when you meet me, you'll be able to feel the love and peace of Jesus just flowing out through me.

So the mantra I've been been going through in my head is this:  What I need right now is more Jesus.

Compared to my amazing college degree, my job is pretty down there in the dirt.  I have a really old car that guzzles up gas like it's nothing and needs to be fixed.  I live in an apartment that constantly smells like cigarettes and weed.  I have tons of school loans I need to pay off.  Obviously I want a better job.  I want to make more money to pay off these loans and get an apartment in a better neighborhood.  I want my car to be fixed, or just get a better car.  But right now what I need in my life is more Jesus.  I just need more of Him in my life and in my heart, and I know that with just that, He'll provide me with everything I need.

This dedication thing is proving to be difficult.  It's easy to go back to old habits, but difficult to keep yourself a changed person.  I was doing Q.T. the other day, and I came across this:

"If God's initiative is the basis of our response, then His oath becomes the basis of our perseverance."

God is the one who seeked me out first.  He is the one who first interacted in my life showing me his presence.  I can persevere because I know that God will keep his promises He's made with me.

So I guess I'm using this blog as a way of reminding myself of what God has done in my life to show me how much He really cares, and that I need to persevere.

Of course, I know that as a human being, I have my faults and I won't be able to go through it on my own.  But during those hard times I know God will carry me through.  My perseverance is not based solely on me, but mainly on Him.  As long as I'm willing, He'll help me see through it all.